Preposterous, patience, practice, perseverance, performance, pure pride.
I have been taking vocal lessons since about October or November this school year as a chance to sound less breathy, breathe properly (without gasping), sing louder, resonate more and to expand my knowledge in singing and the wonders of music.
From the beginning, I knew I would have to do some pretty silly things to get anywhere, this I had discovered from piano lessons, off and on from the more oblivious age of 6, hanging my arms like a gorilla. At one of my first vocal lessons, I had to make a brrrrr sound with my lips to "sing" a warm-up, like a child making bubbles in one of their first swimming lessons with part of their head in the water, or a little boy running around, playing with his toy car. I felt ridiculous, especially when I, a girl old enough to vote, was told to look in the huge mirror staring at me, on the other side of my teacher and brrrr!
I now brrrr at every lesson without giggling at myself, though, I haven't really looked in the mirror for that one lately. One of the weird things I still find funny is dealing with my tongue. I'm told almost every week that my tongue has a mind of its own and that I don't need it to sing, for which I know to be true. For some reason, I can't stop using my tongue to sing, so it gets in my way over and over again! Lately I've been sticking my tongue out and practicing my songs as a vocalise, which looking in a mirror yet again, looks like something no professional or high class vocalist would ever do or should remember doing.
I had troubles with some of my phrases because I was unable to keep my sternum up, especially with the higher notes floating around, so I was sent to the door. Now your probably thinking, "Why was she kicked out?! Is she not paying to learn?!" No worries friends! I was not kicked out! I was merely sent to use my arms to push against the door while singing, with my teacher pushed against my back as a resistance. With all my might, I made sure I did not collapse onto that door to show how weak my arms really were, and in turn forgot about what I usually had my body do when I sang. What a sound! Too bad I can't have something like those windows used at gas stations in the late evenings to prevent harm to the attendant behind the counter on stage to sing like that again for others. I felt so powerful with such a mighty sound! A conqueror! Queen of the castle with you as the dirty rascal!
So today, after about 6 months of 1 hour vocal lessons almost every week, I felt how I am supposed feel when singing without pushing against anything! My chest did not slowly collapse on me while singing a phrase, my rib cage stayed up with little effort, my shoulder blades barely moved, I released completely to get the next breathe with ease, and I didn't reach for the notes! It was the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced! The feeling is a little annoying at the same time though. To make it happen, I'm not supposed to do anything, yet my lower abs hurt and I feel so exhausted and hungry after! Well, I guess I should go exercise more. I will prevail!
Y 3 L L O W M 3 N D Y
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