Heavy Insecurities

Recently it seems like everyone is either having a baby or getting married. On the younger side of things, everyone is scared of marriage because of the divorce rate hanging around North America, and religion because of all the hypocrites and nobody seems to know exactly what they do or do not believe in. I've been thinking a lot of this lately so I decided to find out for myself what history and the bible says about marriage and divorce, and to also check out the differences of today's society and back then.


Let's start with marriage in Genesis 2:18-25 and Matthew 19:4-6

MARRIAGE was God's idea for two people to come together to fulfill a mission they could not accomplish on their own. God said, "It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." Even though it is God's plan for two people to come together, the bible warns over and over not to stir up love prematurely in Songs of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4 where it says,

"Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you're ready."

Age To Marry

Now, as many of you know, there were many arranged marriages back in the day, and girls were married at a young age, with the oldest daughter married out first, etc. Well here's how it went under Judaism. Under Judaism, boys could marry or make religious vows at 14 and girls at 12 and one day, both only with parental permission, which was required until both, boys and girls, were 21 years of age.

In the first century, there was a general rule that young people "of age" could arrange their own marriages. The Jewish rabbis set the minimum age for marriage at twelve years and one day for the girl, and thirteen years for the boy. Now, above I had said boys could marry or make religious vows at 14, not 13. I think this is to do with the fact that boys "become men" at 13, so I'm making the assumption that they can become engaged/betrothed at this age, but cannot marry until they are 14. A boy was most likely wed in this time by the time he was eighteen to twenty years of age.

In ancient times, marriages were usually arranged between the oldest male family members within the same group or family clan. This would guarantee the future existence of the overall group and preservation of culture and values. Girls were given in marriage when they were old enough to bear children, so shortly following puberty; boys married when they either received their inheritance or obtained their own resources. This meant he could take care of his new family and be man of his household without any doubt. It was also common for the groom to give a dowry, or purchase his wife from his future father-in-law. Or, in Jacob's case in Genesis 29:15-21, where he worked for seven years to get his bride. Boys were usually married between puberty and their latter teen years. Because of the big emphasis on family, especially the clan, newly-weds generally bore children within the year following marriage.

Betrothed

Now, to be betrothed to someone in that time was pretty much like being engaged nowadays, with a few differences of course. Once a young man chose who he should have as his bride, and she had agreed (is she was of age), a formal declaration of marital intent was made in the presence of two witnesses, kinda like our engagement parties. Once this had happened, they were considered betrothed. The betrothal period was fixed by law, so there was none of this "I've been engaged for 2 years!" or " We got engaged and married within the hour!" business.
For a maiden, the betrothal period was from ten months to a year; for a widow it was three months. From the time of her betrothal until the marriage actually took place, the woman was treated as if she was already married. The only way to get out of being betrothed was with divorce for a breach of faithfulness was thought of as adultery.

One Flesh

I love this excerpt from Ephesians 5:23-33 in the Message of the connection between a husband and wife.

^{22 -24}Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

^{25 -28}Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.

This, to me, is what marriage should be, especially in these times of divorce and insecurity.



DIVORCE

Law of Moses

"If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance."

Deuteronomy 24:1-4

Jesus was questioned with the Law of Moses later in the New Testament:

One day the Pharisees were badgering him: "Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?"

He answered, "Haven't you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart."

They shot back in rebuttal, "If that's so, why did Moses give instructions for divorce papers and divorce procedures?"

Jesus said, "Moses provided for divorce as a concession to your hard heartedness, but it is not part of God's original plan. I'm holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery."

Jesus' disciples objected, "If those are the terms of marriage, we're stuck. Why get married?"

But Jesus said, "Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you're capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it."

Matthew 19:1-12

God of Israel

"I hate divorce," says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, "I hate the violent dismembering of the 'one flesh' of marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't cheat.

Malachi 2:16

God does not condemn the filing of divorce, but condemns violating the marriage covenant so as to end the marriage. Otherwise why would Moses have his law? It is not up to us to judge if a divorce was for the right reasons, etc. That is between God and the husband and wife for we are not equipped to judge as God does.

But God told Samuel, "Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. I've already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7

GOD'S LAW

When the Pharisees, a money-obsessed bunch, heard him say these things, they rolled their eyes, dismissing him as hopelessly out of touch. So Jesus spoke to them: "You are masters at making yourselves look good in front of others, but God knows what's behind the appearance.

What society sees and calls monumental,
God sees through and calls monstrous.
God's Law and the Prophets climaxed in John;
Now it's all kingdom of God—the glad news
and compelling invitation to every man and woman.
The sky will disintegrate and the earth dissolve
before a single letter of God's Law wears out.
Using the legalities of divorce
as a cover for lust is adultery;
Using the legalities of marriage
as a cover for lust is adultery.

Luke 16:18

I think Thomas M. Strouse summed up what I'm trying to say very well in his conclusion on his article in which I grabbed some of this information off of.

"The Bible is God's guide for mankind in general and especially for Christians. The Bible teaches that marriage is permanent and monogamous. The Bible teaches that divorce is only for the betrothal period prior to physical consummation. The Bible teaches that reconciliation, not divorce is the solution to marital difficulties, and that remarriage is only allowable when the marriage union has been broken by death. May Christians and mankind follow the Bible's guidance for strong family units by realizing marriage is for life and that the Lord God of Israel hates divorce (Mal. 2:16)."

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Where I got some goods from

The Bible, Marriage, and Divorce by Thomas M. Strouse

Marriage Ages in the Bible by Louis Rushmore
Divorce in Biblical Times Chapter 5
Biblical Womanhood

Ishmael by Daniel Quinn - My Response

I just finished reading the novel Ishmael by Daniel Quinn for class, and was told to write a response every 25 pages or so about what I was thinking as I just finished reading the section, and I came up with some very interesting things I thought I might share.

I don't claim these things to be the way things should be, have been, or will be, for it is just thoughts that came to mind as possibilities, or a possible reasoning for things. These are just my ramblings and wheels spinning so feel free to comment your opinions and have my mind, and others, ramble a little more in "maybes" and " what if's".

Each paragraph is a different ramble from a new section, though they are all quite similar, some are quick notes of interest that don't go into too much depth while others are more thought provoking. I have cut out sections that I had deemed unworthy of my reasoning for this post.



CAPTIVITY - "the state or period of being held, imprisoned, enslaved, or confined."

This can be physical, mental, and spiritual. That's intense! Imagine being in prison, people tell you what, and how you are to think, and you are to have no religion or anything, imagine your body as just a shell and you are nothing, can be nothing, and will be nothing. Captivity seems like such a heavy word when you think of it as being utterly and completely trapped with no hope of escape. That is one huge tonne of concrete to throw on somebody. That word can make people angry galore! Captivity, captivity, captivity!!



MOTHER CULTURE - is, in her entire form, us: our own civilization from whom we learn our rules, morals and ways of viewing the world. A baby-sitter might do a ritualistic, everyday chore in one way only to hear the children say, “But our mommy does it this way.” Their mother has, purposely or not, melded into her offspring the idea of this is how it's done. This may cause narrow-mindedness, blindness and ignorance. Mother Culture is the kind of parent whose answer to everything is “because I'm the mommy and I said so, that's why.”

We hear Mother Culture always humming in the background, but we've listened to her for so long that you don't notice her. If you don't specifically try to listen for her, you won't hear her.
Is that subliminal messaging or what?!



GOD - "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. GOD IS LOVE. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him."

[1 John 4:16]

LOVE - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

[1 Corinthians 13:4-13]

The end of the world will come when the Earth is overpopulated and the number of people on it need to balance the food it offers. In the wild if there is not enough grass for the gazelles, then the number of gazelles deplete until there is a balance of food and gazelles. This will be the same for mankind. God made us to be of this world and not to be Gods of this world. Just think, if all mankind were God-fearing and obeyed him, we would not go without love for God is love. Sexual relations would not be had unless you were married so you would not find any unmarried young girls bearing children they could not care for and aborting. There would be a whole lot less children going through foster care and the adoption system, for they would have come into families of love for "God is love [and] whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." If many young girls who do not treat their bodies like a temple were to feel loved at home by their mother's and father's, they would not go out looking for love in the wrong places, they would not have men lusting for them, and they would not commit adultery. God is Almighty and we are his creation. We could not create the Universe and the stars above as he had.



LAZY - "averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent."

GRUMPY - "surly or ill-tempered; discontentedly or sullenly irritable; grouchy."

Many things in life were wonderful achievements, inventions, or advancements in our culture and society, yet, we take everything for granted it seems. Conan hosted the comedian Louis CK who talked of the spoiled generation that we see now. Many of these advancements should be used to aid us, and not to spoil us! We have so been greedy with our hearts closed more and more over the years, no wonder why we are coming closer and closer to the end! These wonderful things that we take for granted are making us grumpy and lazy, in turn you see "a culture riddled with greed, cruelty, mental illness, crime, and drug addiction." And what is the cure for all of this? According to society it is our morals (usually religious or justice provoked), advertisements bringing awareness to animal cruelty, or cruelty in war, etc., pills, pills and more pills, or shunning of those with mental illness, prison (though is justice really served?), and rehab, or looks of disgust! Why can't people take a walk with their families around the block before dinner to get some fresh air, talk with their loved ones, and get some exercise amongst the beautiful world we live in?



FAITH - "The assent of the mind to the statement or proposition of another, on the ground of the manifest truth of what he utters; firm and earnest belief, on probable evidence of any kind, especially in regard to important moral truth."

PATIENT - "Bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness."

TRUST - "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence."

I think the world needs more faith, patience and in that, trust. A common phrase "ignorance is bliss" is determined fit before Adam and Eve ate fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
I wonder where we would be had we not wanted to be God. God must have huge feet because nobody can fill them, but what do you expect from the creator of everything?! Even if God were the size of a grasshopper, and let's say grasshoppers wore shoes, your feet would not be BIG ENOUGH to fill his shoes.


I'm very glad I read this book, and from now on, as with any new found information, my life will be different. I will see things, and judge things differently, maybe even answer certain questions differently with more of an opinion. I really enjoyed how slow, and a little ignorant the main character was, as to perceive what Ishmael had to say a little more thoroughly. Ignorance was bliss there too, I guess! I recommend you read this book if you haven't already. Such simple questions led to such simple answers, and all we had to do was check out the bible a little bit, and look around the world we live in today and the world the "savages" live in today, and yesterday.

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