Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Socializing

So it has been awhile since I have written my last blog. Things have been interesting. My roller-coaster ride has been tough, but I have pulled through those crazy upside-down bits. I had taken Fast Track and did not succeed. I thought I had no where left to go. I couldn't face school with everyone else, and I couldn't even do one course for 18 days, let alone the 3 I went to. Things changed slowly, with the help of someone who listened with an open heart and open ears, I have never known that was possible to have! I began medication for my social anxiety, etc and have slowly stabled out, gone a little wonkey, then stabled out again. I hate the fact that I'm relying on these pills, but if I don't take them for 2 or 3 days, then I feel like I am back to that low point where I could only see a tiny glimpse of light on a good day.

Dear kind reader, I know this is not as my usual pieces of writing, but I am in need of sleep for a long day tomorrow. I need strength in case someone is not in a good mood and they try to bring me down too. I also need strength to clean the home in which I live in so if I have a bad day coming soon, it won't be so bad in a home I can think and ponder in. So much can have an effect on how my day goes, my week, even my month..... well, not so sure about a month, but it is very possible!

I will be off to camp on sunday, and won't be scheduled to be back home for 2 months and 1 week. I am a little nervous about this. I will be working with people I am not that close to, and I am very, well, I am afraid that the social anxiety might want to try to claim me again while I am there. I just pray that I will be close to God on this new adventure of mine, and that I will have people I can truly, honestly trust and talk to while I am at camp. I wouldn't mind being someone else's stress relief too, but I need a change of pace; I need someone that I, Me, Yellowmendy, can talk to for once.

Though there is so much I want to say, to place my thoughts on, and to voice my many concerns on things, I do believe I should get some rest. Peace be with you kind reader! I pray for your health and decisions. I also pray for your many journeys.


Grace be with you,
Y 3 L L O W M 3 N D Y